Found this draft from last summer...glad to say I am doing better.
There are many small ways I disappoint myself as a human on a daily basis. Before, disappointments generally involved my inability to make so and so like me or run a sub-25 min 3 mile, one the probable result of too much trying and the other of talking too much about trying and doing none at all. Lately, the problem has escalated alarmingly, becoming the inability to remove ones ever expanding ass from couch, bed, or other sedentary position. I am a very mentally active miserable loaf. I spend great deals of time comparing myself to others who have found a way to rise before 3'oclock unaided, shower regularly, and fit into jeans constituting less than 30% lycra. Since I am reasonably smart, I have mental breakthroughs regularly which, of course, lead to nothing changing. Today I had another. Count me down Johnny, it goes something like this...
We spend so much of our lives justifying to ourselves, or those willing to listen, how we are in some way better than both the subjects of our disdain and admiration. The saddest part of all this is that we all can, in truth, be the "best" if we define that for ourselves. I am not talking about lowering standards or patting yourself on the back for doing naught, rather I propose exploring your own standards of what a human being should be and earnestly pursuing that. The distraction of fantasizing over the things you should have/ could have done is such a waste. Comparing oneself to another should only be used to inspire betterment, not for false reassurance or negativity.
Out of my new-found decision to not compare myself negatively, I won't comment much on the fact that I am sure this is shit everyone already knows.
