Dissapointing Things

Found this draft from last summer...glad to say I am doing better.

There are many small ways I disappoint myself as a human on a daily basis. Before, disappointments generally involved my inability to make so and so like me or run a sub-25 min 3 mile, one the probable result of too much trying and the other of talking too much about trying and doing none at all. Lately, the problem has escalated alarmingly, becoming the inability to remove ones ever expanding ass from couch, bed, or other sedentary position. I am a very mentally active miserable loaf. I spend great deals of time comparing myself to others who have found a way to rise before 3'oclock unaided, shower regularly, and fit into jeans constituting less than 30% lycra. Since I am reasonably smart, I have mental breakthroughs regularly which, of course, lead to nothing changing. Today I had another. Count me down Johnny, it goes something like this...

We spend so much of our lives justifying to ourselves, or those willing to listen, how we are in some way better than both the subjects of our disdain and admiration. The saddest part of all this is that we all can, in truth, be the "best" if we define that for ourselves. I am not talking about lowering standards or patting yourself on the back for doing naught, rather I propose exploring your own standards of what a human being should be and earnestly pursuing that. The distraction of fantasizing over the things you should have/ could have done is such a waste. Comparing oneself to another should only be used to inspire betterment, not for false reassurance or negativity.

Out of my new-found decision to not compare myself negatively, I won't comment much on the fact that I am sure this is shit everyone already knows.

Adventures

I want to try everything. I want to be insane like Klaus Klinski...I want to live in Stockholm in the winter because I've fallen in love...I want to be a eunuch in the harem of an Arabian prince.

I want to be Jonathan Ames for Halloween.

Project Deux- Garden Expansion Pack

This morning Carrie and I enjoyed a girl's morning out at the fragrant street market and then about town. Our goal was to "mum it up for fall". A goggle bespectacled man was happy to oblige us with our choice of mums (for Carrie) and ivy, astors, and a American Beautyberry for myself. Upon returning home they were placed. View the results.

One pup who wants to help...


Two pups who want to help...



Three pups who want to help...


Left side...

Right side...

Everything, and the for sale sign that no one wants.

The Beautyberry is off to the left there. Its going to be awesome.

Project Uno- Let's plant 6 plants and call it a garden!

Joshimi and I have decided to keep a log of home projects we attempt...and so far partially fail at. Project number one, a front garden.

I have loved decorative cabbages since I saw them in the front yard of a beautiful home near Annapolis, Maryland. Here is our paltry attempt.

Plants: $16
Supplies: $ 45
Beer: 1 can Bud Light
Outcome: Dire






$5 shovel from Lowes. CHECK!










Dig like an Amish person.


1/2 our take about to go to ground.


Happy digging!

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Out of 5 doggie helpers, the only boy and the
only one to get muddy. That Supertrammpe...

Ahh the grand finale. We need more plants.

Unintentional Traffic Violation

The other day whilst driving to work, I was reflecting on how much I hate Twinkies, and playing out in my mind an elaborate crime drama in which I would escape prosecution based on Twinkie-related evidence. I was so into it that I blatantly ran a stop-light. I await my ticket via the post. No disgustingly cream laden pastry can get me out of this one. Ironic? Perhaps.

Alter Ego

Sometimes I want to be a wilderness guy with a crazy beard who wears a lot of flannel & doesnt talk much. Id always be on the road riding my Royal Enfield or camping out in the wild. My mom would want me to call more & I would have a short criminal record for bar fights.